Cross-Roads

Cross-Roads is the first Terzanelle I have ever written. My association with Terzanelle happened quite interestingly.

It all started with Aparna (my best friend from my BH College days) once shared her poetry blog which is a wonderful garden of various poetic forms in English. One of the forms that has come close to my heart is Terzanelle.

After I learnt about this poetic style and was thinking of trying to fit some of my thoughts in the wavy-verses, some of the life events forced my attention to waver away from the Poetry.

In May 2009, I got a notice to stop working on the dream project where my heart & soul were. I was asked to transition all my work to the few fortunate ones that were elected to stay on the project. I was asked to find another internal position that (my employer thought) suited my career profile.

The day I got the phone call from my manager Julia, when she was obligated to read the job termination notice, I told her that I already read the whole notice that was emailed to me and I didn't have any questions. But she insisted it was her duty to fulfill and read the whole document to me over the phone for 10 minutes. It being a sunny afternoon and having my lunch just before that phone call, I was almost dozing off through that get-out-off-the-job-lullaby :). After 10 minutes, I was jolted to awaken-ment with a question from Julia.

"Lalitha! Do you have any questions?"

"Julia! I understand that I have 3 months to search for a job internally. Yesterday I got my new Lease-roll laptop. It is so sleek. Will I be able to keep it for these 3 months?"

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line. Apparently my question made Julia speechless - as she was trying to comprehend it was the "new-sleek-laptop" that I was more concerned about than the job that I had to part with.

Even though I was bit disappointed the very first moment I knew about my losing-job, I could take it very well - looking at the positive side of it - appreciating Julia for keeping the folks that needed the job more than I did and her trust in me that I could find a better opportunity than the current one.

After that, the days that were once so busy turned into lazy-nothingness. Everyone else sitting in the adjacent cubes was heard to be carrying the business forward without me. But for the few calls I had to attend to transition my work, I had nothing to do except laughing away the days with Waynette, my ally in mischief :) 

During such a period of emptiness around me, one day it occurred to me that I could use that time for something other than updating CV and preparing for internal interviews. 

Then I remembered Terzanelle - and Cross-Roads was born. I wrote the poem and read & re-read it several times. Funny enough I never felt the pain of my lost-job until I read my poem - when tears rolled out of my eyes while they were running through the verses. Anyway, the story ended well and I got a position in another wonderful team and I am no longer at any cross-roads.

Here I would like to share an excerpt from an email conversation with Aparna, where she was asking why I picked "Terzanelle" of all the poetic forms.

Aparna: Very nice poem - do you write often? 

Me: Thanks for the compliment. I try to write, but end up trying forever to put a single line.  

Aparna: Is this a recent one?  

Me: yes, it is.

Aparna: Where are the others? What kind do you write? 

Me: Anything that flows from the heart.

Aparna: Why terzanelle :-) Are there other forms you have experimented with? Send them all... 

Me: Why Terzanelle.....I happened to read your poetry (while surfing through Nice Folks one day) & instantly fell in love with the wavy(like Godavari) Terzanelle. So wanted to experiment with it :) & did.

Here is my very first Terzanelle - Cross-Roads:

I'm at the cross-roads

Waiting for my turn

Everyone passing by waving hands

Time is ticking away

Leaving me here alone

Waiting for my turn

All my friends & foes

Rushing off to be busy

Leaving me here alone

My eyes weary with waiting

My mind wanting to follow all-

Rushing off to be busy

Holding back the “laughing” tears 

Smiling at the passers-by

My mind wanting to follow all

I've found myself here-

I'm at the cross-roads

Smiling at the passers-by

Everyone passing by waving hands

[Terzanelle from WIKIPedia: A Terzanelle is a poetic form with nineteen lines total, with five triplets and a concluding quatrain. The middle line of each triplet stanza is repeated as the third line of the following stanza, and the first and third lines of the initial stanza are the second and final lines of the concluding quatrain; thus, seven of the lines are repeated in the poem.]