One year after I got married, the next exciting thing that everyone - who thought or used to think that they were really concerned about every event in my life - talked about - was when I would have my first child.
Whenever someone brought up the topic of children, I used to think and tell myself that I needed more time for me to feel ready enough to handle a child.
Babies are cute; they are like angels - these are the popular sentiments that are unanimously accepted. But there is more to parenting babies beyond accepting the general statements. While going through this phase, even though I had little interaction with moms having babies, I could imagine what a monumental task it would be to raise the little human to become a sensible man / woman.
Here I am stepping back and trying to walk myself through the path I have been treading as a mother.
When Suhaas, my first child was born, all that I knew or could think of what I knew - was a sense of playfulness - enjoying the holding-and-carrying of my own little companion wherever I went and talking to him about everything I did - it never occurred to me if there would be a word that he wouldn't understand. I talked & sang rhymes while giving him baths in the mornings, I told him stories while feeding him, I sang lullabies at bed time - all the while making sure he heard my voice in all his waking times.
Until Suhaas was 4 years old, I was his sole companion - playing Soccer (if I could call mere-kicking-of-a ball Soccer - yes - it was it), fighting, singing rhymes, making silly faces - I did whatever he was supposed to do - along with him.
When it was time for him to go to school and be there for most part of his day, I made sure I was around - whiling away my time in school volunteering for various tasks in school that needed extra help from parents. Sometimes people even wondered if I was working at school :)
As Suhaas moved from one grade to the next, I also grew as a parent learning from him - trying to put myself in his shoes and making sure I wouldn't add much overhead to his already-stressful in/out-of school activities and schedules. My schedule was built / adjusted around his.
Looking back where we are now - I don't say I didn't cause any inconvenience to the little mind, but I feel glad that it's been taken and understood as a Mother's inadvertent-adventure trying to protect and lead the kid in the right direction - as a first time parent.
Growing together (as a child and a parent) & learning (as a student and once again as a parent), we both have come a long way.
Then that moment has come - to which we both have been waiting anxiously - attributing that anxiety in various degrees to various feelings - for the child to step into the big-wide-world as a young boy having an Adrenaline rush; for the mom who started feeling like setting to leave the Gold Fish she has been petting so protectively in the "home aquarium" into the big-blue-unfathomable ocean of life.
That moment - that very moment - was what inspired me to sketch away the Dreams Unlimited for capturing the emotion and zeal of that same moment :)
{Original draft from November 13 2013 for Suhaas' Senior Year Book }
The moment I set my eyes on the precious you
Many a hope began to weave
Reaching out for the Dreams Unlimited
That moment grew into months
While months stacked up to years
Many a hope began to weave
I started reliving my childhood with you
Happily letting the time play by
While months stacked up to years
With Your tiny hands and big heart and all that you do-
You taught me new life lessons
Happily letting the time play by
Every time you let a laugh to be shared
And anytime you lend a hand
You taught me new life lessons
I’m standing here relishing
The moment I set my eyes on the precious you
And anytime you lend a hand
Reaching out for the Dreams Unlimited
[Terzanelle from WIKIPedia: A Terzanelle is a poetic form with nineteen lines total, with five triplets and a concluding quatrain. The middle line of each triplet stanza is repeated as the third line of the following stanza, and the first and third lines of the initial stanza are the second and final lines of the concluding quatrain; thus, seven of the lines are repeated in the poem.]
